Spring Break

Dear Spring Break,

SO glad you're here.

Though I won't be enjoying any of the tropics-and-tequila sort of spring break activities, I will enjoy you nonetheless.

You couldn't have come at a better time - two weeks of midterm exams and projects along with my temp job being in full-swing coinciding with Kyle's new schedule had left me quite depleted to say the least.  And an extremely disappointing grade on a midterm significantly sucked my confidence.  Oftentimes, after a hugely stressful day or week, I just need a good cry, high quality chocolate, and some come-to-Jesus time and I'm good to go.  This time however, I had three separate cry sessions, two phone calls to mom, and a half of a pint of Ben & Jerry's even though I have supposedly given up sweets for Lent.*

I'm recovered now.  I feel better.  And I found my new favorite ice cream flavor. And found out today that I did well on my other exam, so some confidence is restored.  And SO thankful that I have this week off of school.

Which leads me to:  my Spring Break Six (things I have done or plan to enjoy):
1. Working out.  4-miler outside on this nearly 60 degree day.  #beautiful #thankyoujesus
2. Evening "swims" at the Y with the ladies. (Last night we chatted while treading water for 7 minutes and then shimmied to the hot tub, aka, the pool of the gods - hardly "swimming" I know).
3. Nepal. Booked. Two weeks in May.  8 weeks from now. So unbelievably excited to see a dear friend and travel with another dear friend, and hug a dear friend, and see and smell Nepal, and laugh with dear friends.  (I'm being cryptic because I'm not sure I can post this person's name on the internet - anyone know?  I should have these rules memorized by now....)
4. Celebrating Sarah's birthday - twice and maybe three times if I can talk them into SkyZone (trampoline heaven) on Friday.
5. Chill mornings with time to be by myself and read, drink coffee, and pray.
6. Working ahead on some homework.  So as to avoid another breakdown as previously described.

:)
Julie

*I gave up sweets for Lent. But Sundays aren't included in the 40-day fast.  I don't know if academic-related mental/emotional breakdowns are as well.  Regardless, I think I have worked out a very detailed system whereby I am officially fasting from sweets for exactly 40 days, but shifting the fast-free days of Sunday to other days of the week when I have indulged in sweets (ie: the Ben & Jerry breakdown day).  It's starting to get a little more complicated because I keep finding excuses opportunities to partake of sweets. But I think I'm still on target for the 40 days.  I'm a rule-follower after all.

Wednesday

Dear (Dreary) Wednesday,

Your weather matches how I feel - physically, that is.  I think I have a head cold, but unlike the usual symptoms of such, I can breathe through my nose and I'm not coughing.  Really, my throat hurts and is swollen, I feel dizzy, and I can't hear very well.  Apparently these symptoms manifested themselves in snoring last night.  Hard to believe!  The boy graciously retreated to the futon halfway through the night because I was, ahem, too loud.

Anyway, that's not why we're here.  I thought a general update would do me some good, because with an unpredictable schedule lately, I sometimes forget where my time goes and what the heck I'm doing these days.  And since it's 2:28 in the afternoon in the middle of the week, no one else is around to talk to...

I've been very thankful for small opportunities the last few weeks.  I've been praying that I would use this weird/wonderful/stressful gift of time for good and meaningful things, and God has really responded to this.  I joined a morning Bible Study (more on that later), have been getting healthy amounts of sleep, been able to work out more, met friends during the day, spend much-needed time and mental energy on classwork, and had some last-minute babysitting gigs for some of the cutest in Minneapolis. Not bad.  And I'm still working very part time for a program at work, which has been a nice time-filler as well.

I often feel anxious though - not really so much about finances, but about time.  I have this complex that it's not socially acceptable to work less than 40 hours a week outside the home, unless you are a.) retired b.) a student or c.) caring for offspring or d.) living in Europe where I hear they get it right with shorter work weeks and more vacation time.  I need to remind myself that 1.) I AM a student!  Taking 10 credits.  And just because my classes are in a nontraditional schedule, they still take up a large amount of my time (and should!), and 2.) Who cares what is socially acceptable?!  I have a gift that very few people in this culture have right now: time.  I pray I can use it wisely for God's glory, and 3.) if anyone wants to go to Europe to experience this time/work cultural phenomenon, I'm in.  I have the time.

Well, that felt good. Thanks for listening - I need to remind myself of the big and small ways that God has showed up recently; good reason to trust that he'll continue to!

Off to nap this sickness away...
Julie

2012

Dear 2012,

Why ullo! So glad you're here.

Really.

SO glad.

Because of my love of the Christmas season, I usually get so excited about the holidays that the arrival of January isn't that desired (read: post-Christmas blues).  This year, however, thanks to a stressfulish Christmas, I gladly welcome you, the new year.

And naturally, with the new year, comes new resolutions.  Let's roll....

1.) Be Less Polarizing.  I told you these were going to be epic.  Partially due to some ideas in this amazing talk and some other contemplating/praying/thinking I've been doing, the idea of divisions has been on my mind lately.  Divisions in the church, politics, social classes, and humanity in general.  A lot of times these divisions are exacerbated by polarizing statements or comments that exclude individuals, push entire groups to the margins, and prevent opportunity for interaction (let alone relationship).  My feelings on pacifism are related to this as well: the belief that everyone is worthy of being loved, of being heard, of relationship.  Violence, like some polarizing comments, completely prevents this and essentially makes the statement "you're not worth being in relationship with."
Whew, I didn't realize this was going to start out being so weighty.  Basically, despite the fancy title and that heavy first paragraph, I'm praying for perspective this year: to take a step back from potentially conflictual situations and try and see things from another's point of view and be okay with uncertainty and messiness.

2.) There's Grace for People Like Me.  A friend shared this phrase with me a long time ago and I have come back to it many times.  Though it can sound callous or even patronizing, it. is. true.  And is especially comforting in those moments when you feel absolutely awful about something you said or did, have tried to make it right, and then regardless of how that attempt went, just have sit and deal with the guilty feelings of failing. (read: being human)  like the other day, when I unsuccessfully tried to articulate my perspective at a meeting and instead of just stopping and gathering my thoughts like a mature or normal person would have done, I forged ahead at full steam quadrupling the amount of words I was spewing on those gathered while not actually saying much of anything except for perhaps some unintentional criticism (and perhaps polarizing statements).  Ugh.  SO thankful that there's grace for people like me.  And you.  Us. This year.  Every year.  Every day.

3.) Have a DTR with Money.  (That's "Define the Relationship" for all you non-acronymers out there).  I'd like to make a specific goal, but I've tried that in the past and have not had much success and quite frankly with my current income situation, I'm at a loss for what would be a good goal anyway.  A thought I've long had since listening to some Dave Ramsey videos, is in regards to my relationship with money.  I think there is something hugely important about how we view money, how we spend it, and what connotation or power we give it.  I'm praying for a more accurate view of "need" and "things" this year.

4.) Be a Yogi.  I love yoga.  It incorporates a lot of important things: strength, flexibility, balance, and solitude.

5.) Study the Bible.  Signed up for a Bible study starting at the end of the month.  I hope to make this a regular practice this year like last.

6.) Share Food.  I love food.  I love cooking.  I like hospitality.  You're welcome for dinner, anytime.

7.) Finish my Paralegal Certification.  Class starts tonight.  10 credits this semester.  Here we go....

8.) Don't worry.  Have I confessed this yet?  Hi, my name is Julie and I'm a worrier.  I worry about things that have already happened, I worry about things that are yet to happen, I worry that I worry too much, I worry that I worry too little, I worry that you don't like this blog, I worry that I'll never get a job, I worry that I'll get a job, I worry that I don't keep in touch with friends, I worry that I overextend myself with friends.  You get the picture.  There's grace for worriers like me.

I'm not sure if I'm done here, some of these have been long thought-out goals: others have been on-the-fly.  There is room for improvement for sure.

Auld Lang Syne,
Julie

2011, Finally

Dear 2011,

Wow, you're over.  Unlike many of my fellow bloggies, I will not be apologizing for sharing my list of resolutions and revisiting last year's.  I love lists, remember?  And I personally like the word "resolution."

And away we go:


- Let people off the hook. Ughh. I think I reported midway through this year that this was going well - I'm not so sure about this now.  If you haven't figured out, this resolution is a coy way of saying "forgive people," and apparently I am not good at this. It often seems that just when I feel I may have reached that place of forgiveness, something happens that sparks my memory and all those painful emotions return - and with them the bitterness and unforgiving thoughts.  But, in the spirit of this resolution, I'm going to try and let myself off the hook a little, because God does, every day.

- Don't buy clothes. Success.  I'm debating whether to add this to my 2012 resolutions.  It was easier and more liberating than I thought it would be.

- Play piano. Fail.  It looks so beautiful, sitting there in all her glory, however I can't remember the last time I tickled the ivories.

- Run a half marathon or a 10 Mile. Success!!  You already know about this.  Looking forward to running season starting again - may run outside today: it is supposed to be 45 degrees!

- Blog more. Success. Ish.  You wouldn't know this, but I have about as many unpublished blogs as I do posted ones - some half finished, some barely started, all amazing.

- Pray more. Success.*  Like I mentioned before, this has been a year marked by constant conversation with God - I'm thrilled and amazed really at how He has consistently drawn my thoughts towards him.  Also, I've found myself often starting prayers with "I realize this isn't a super big deal, but..."  Because, while it may not be the world's most important thing if there's traffic on the way to the Y, I think that at the very least, God cares that I'm talking to him (whether or not he really cares if I make it to Yoga on time).

I'm excited to share my 2012 goals next time.  They are going to be ep.ic!

Sayonara,
Julita

*As mentioned previously - how does one measure "success" in this category anyway?

Unemployment

Dear Unemployment,

Okay, it's ofish.  I'm worried.  Anxious, really.  I slept restlessly last night waking up with this sense of worry that I just couldn't shake and feeling like I'd drank 4 cups of coffee within and hour on an empty stomach.

Ergo, it's official: I'm anxious.  ...about the "u" word.

I've been applying to some jobs here and there over the course of the last couple of weeks, but haven't heard anything promising and quite frankly, haven't been trying that hard.  Confession:  words like "follow-up phone call", "networking", and "informational interview" make me nauseous.  So, I continue this roller-coaster schedule of:
1. having a little gumption and a glimmer of hope that today will be the day I find the perfect opportunity:
2. spending a few minutes or hours searching and applying online:
3. quickly losing any of the aforementioned gumption and hope when I fail to find anything remotely related to my skill-set and/or objectives:
4. becoming exhausted by the thought of the application, interview, proving-I'm-exactly-who-you-want-for-this-position process:
5. rushing to the kitchen to find the nearest chocolate and then escape to my current domestic-diva fantasy worlds of either: The Pioneer Woman or "The Dirty Life".

And then I start thinking about other options besides, you know, the typical job thing.  Options like:

- Opening an etsy shop and selling felt garland and one-yard bags.
- Having a baby, because I mean, I'll be home anyway and I just got an immersion blender (so as to make some kick-butt baby food, of course ... among others things, like soup...)
- Opening my sort-of-a-joke-but-no-seriously idea of a popcorn business
- Becoming an ebay phenom and making a fortune by buying low and selling high (ok, maybe not a fortune, but a least some profit).

Ugh.

This is exhausting.

And I'm not even there yet: the "U" word doesn't even officially begin until next week.

At the very least, I can survive off of the eggs the chickens produce and will be relatively clean as I've just finished about six batches of soap.  I may be without a job, but gosh darnit - I'm going to smell good!

~Julie

Chickens?  Yes, Kyle and I have chickens.  6 beautiful ladies.  To whom I have yet to write a letter.  I'd intended to do a photo-blog of them for months now .... Maybe I'll add that to my list of Unemployment Goals.

Frickin' Five Friday

Dear Friday,

In honor of Laura's amazing alliteration suggestions, it's official: I'm starting a weekly letter to you: Friday.  Why Friday? you ask.  Well, lists and alliterations make me giddy and I finished my last final yesterday, so naturally I couldn't wait to start.

I'm going with Laura's original title suggestion, but may alter it in the future as I see fit ...

So here it is: the first installment of

Frickin' Five Friday
Five things I'm looking forward to this weekend:


1. Dinner out with Kyle tonight.  To someplace new.  He has to wear a tie. I'm hungry already. (Thanks, Kurt!)
2. Pancakes with Powderhorn Neighbors on Saturday morning.  If you're in the hood, come on by!
3. Annie. An elementary school production with two of our friends' daughters in it.  Should be magnificent. And I will try to refrain from singing along (fellow audience member don't appreciate that so much).
4. Securing a super fantastic Christmas present for Kyle.  Here's hoping that everything pans out, because it is going to be EPIC!
5. The Christmas Pageant at church.  Kyle and I are Shepherd herders (literally, we're herding the sheps from the balcony to the sanctuary whilst keeping everyone alive and accounted for). And we have some fantastic, yet-to-be-revealed accessories for the kiddos to you know, help us all get into character.  Hopefully I'll have a picture or two to share.


TGIF,
Julie

December

Dear December,

Well, hello.  How'd it get to be the 15th already?

I have a lot to say, but not necessarily to any specific recipient, so I thought I'd just send a general letter about life recently.

I'm considering doing a weekly list-type post, because 1.) I love lists and 2.) I have specific things to say that fall within a certain category that would be best presented as a list.  I'm trying to figure out how to a.) make this original and b.) make this functional.  I have a friend who writes "Ten Things Tuesday" and I like this a lot because i.) I love alliterations and ii.) it would have to be an even number, naturally.  However, I hate to steal her material, and ten is somewhat of an intimidating number (what if I can only think of eight?).  So... this idea is currently under construction.

Back to you, December.  It's been quite the half of month. 

-You've brought official news of my pending unemployment (a "Farewell Neighb" letter is most definitely in the works), and my first I'm-soon-going-to-be-unemployed-freak-out-pity-party-moment.

- You've brought our beautiful Christmas tree, which I would post a picture of if I weren't in the Inver Hills Community College computer lab.  Single-handedly decorated by Kyle James Oostra.

- I'm an official soap-maker.

- I will officially be done with my first semester back-at-school classes in t-minus 90 minutes.  Hooray.

- The Oostras are now the proud owners of ....  an old-fashioned and fully functional typewriter!  Compliments of Justin Kohorst and the famouse Arneson white elephant party.  (Kyle won this.  I got an oversized hacky sack).*

- No snow.  What gives?  Let's get on that: I'm sick of the dirty, muddy ground.

- And, the official decision (God-willing and the creek don't rise) that I'm going to Nepal.  To visit Laurel.  With Eva. In 2012.  Oh boy! Can't wait.  This has been quite the decision process - perhaps this too warrants an entirely different letter.

- Kyle's amazing performance in the who-knows-how-manyeth-because-we-don't-really-keep-track-of-that-stuff annual Christmas at Calvary.  He's a hottie.  With a rockin bass. Voice.      He has a bass voice.

Well, that's all for now.  I'd thought this might be the month of the Oostra's first-ever Christmas card, but alas it's not going to happen.  I am however, throwing around the idea of a Christmas video-greeting.  Whaddya think?  We're pretty cute, and I have a commanding stage-presence.

Cheers!
Julie

*I had intended to write a letter last month to another new member of the Oostra household: The Dishwasher  (subtitle: The Appliance That Saved Our Marriage), but never got around to it: I was too busy fighting Kyle to unload or load it.  Maybe.