2012

Dear 2012,

Why ullo! So glad you're here.

Really.

SO glad.

Because of my love of the Christmas season, I usually get so excited about the holidays that the arrival of January isn't that desired (read: post-Christmas blues).  This year, however, thanks to a stressfulish Christmas, I gladly welcome you, the new year.

And naturally, with the new year, comes new resolutions.  Let's roll....

1.) Be Less Polarizing.  I told you these were going to be epic.  Partially due to some ideas in this amazing talk and some other contemplating/praying/thinking I've been doing, the idea of divisions has been on my mind lately.  Divisions in the church, politics, social classes, and humanity in general.  A lot of times these divisions are exacerbated by polarizing statements or comments that exclude individuals, push entire groups to the margins, and prevent opportunity for interaction (let alone relationship).  My feelings on pacifism are related to this as well: the belief that everyone is worthy of being loved, of being heard, of relationship.  Violence, like some polarizing comments, completely prevents this and essentially makes the statement "you're not worth being in relationship with."
Whew, I didn't realize this was going to start out being so weighty.  Basically, despite the fancy title and that heavy first paragraph, I'm praying for perspective this year: to take a step back from potentially conflictual situations and try and see things from another's point of view and be okay with uncertainty and messiness.

2.) There's Grace for People Like Me.  A friend shared this phrase with me a long time ago and I have come back to it many times.  Though it can sound callous or even patronizing, it. is. true.  And is especially comforting in those moments when you feel absolutely awful about something you said or did, have tried to make it right, and then regardless of how that attempt went, just have sit and deal with the guilty feelings of failing. (read: being human)  like the other day, when I unsuccessfully tried to articulate my perspective at a meeting and instead of just stopping and gathering my thoughts like a mature or normal person would have done, I forged ahead at full steam quadrupling the amount of words I was spewing on those gathered while not actually saying much of anything except for perhaps some unintentional criticism (and perhaps polarizing statements).  Ugh.  SO thankful that there's grace for people like me.  And you.  Us. This year.  Every year.  Every day.

3.) Have a DTR with Money.  (That's "Define the Relationship" for all you non-acronymers out there).  I'd like to make a specific goal, but I've tried that in the past and have not had much success and quite frankly with my current income situation, I'm at a loss for what would be a good goal anyway.  A thought I've long had since listening to some Dave Ramsey videos, is in regards to my relationship with money.  I think there is something hugely important about how we view money, how we spend it, and what connotation or power we give it.  I'm praying for a more accurate view of "need" and "things" this year.

4.) Be a Yogi.  I love yoga.  It incorporates a lot of important things: strength, flexibility, balance, and solitude.

5.) Study the Bible.  Signed up for a Bible study starting at the end of the month.  I hope to make this a regular practice this year like last.

6.) Share Food.  I love food.  I love cooking.  I like hospitality.  You're welcome for dinner, anytime.

7.) Finish my Paralegal Certification.  Class starts tonight.  10 credits this semester.  Here we go....

8.) Don't worry.  Have I confessed this yet?  Hi, my name is Julie and I'm a worrier.  I worry about things that have already happened, I worry about things that are yet to happen, I worry that I worry too much, I worry that I worry too little, I worry that you don't like this blog, I worry that I'll never get a job, I worry that I'll get a job, I worry that I don't keep in touch with friends, I worry that I overextend myself with friends.  You get the picture.  There's grace for worriers like me.

I'm not sure if I'm done here, some of these have been long thought-out goals: others have been on-the-fly.  There is room for improvement for sure.

Auld Lang Syne,
Julie

2011, Finally

Dear 2011,

Wow, you're over.  Unlike many of my fellow bloggies, I will not be apologizing for sharing my list of resolutions and revisiting last year's.  I love lists, remember?  And I personally like the word "resolution."

And away we go:


- Let people off the hook. Ughh. I think I reported midway through this year that this was going well - I'm not so sure about this now.  If you haven't figured out, this resolution is a coy way of saying "forgive people," and apparently I am not good at this. It often seems that just when I feel I may have reached that place of forgiveness, something happens that sparks my memory and all those painful emotions return - and with them the bitterness and unforgiving thoughts.  But, in the spirit of this resolution, I'm going to try and let myself off the hook a little, because God does, every day.

- Don't buy clothes. Success.  I'm debating whether to add this to my 2012 resolutions.  It was easier and more liberating than I thought it would be.

- Play piano. Fail.  It looks so beautiful, sitting there in all her glory, however I can't remember the last time I tickled the ivories.

- Run a half marathon or a 10 Mile. Success!!  You already know about this.  Looking forward to running season starting again - may run outside today: it is supposed to be 45 degrees!

- Blog more. Success. Ish.  You wouldn't know this, but I have about as many unpublished blogs as I do posted ones - some half finished, some barely started, all amazing.

- Pray more. Success.*  Like I mentioned before, this has been a year marked by constant conversation with God - I'm thrilled and amazed really at how He has consistently drawn my thoughts towards him.  Also, I've found myself often starting prayers with "I realize this isn't a super big deal, but..."  Because, while it may not be the world's most important thing if there's traffic on the way to the Y, I think that at the very least, God cares that I'm talking to him (whether or not he really cares if I make it to Yoga on time).

I'm excited to share my 2012 goals next time.  They are going to be ep.ic!

Sayonara,
Julita

*As mentioned previously - how does one measure "success" in this category anyway?