The Dream

Dear "The Dream,"

I had one of those epiphany moments this morning, where I realized that I am living you - I am living the dream.

I had just sat down to a second breakfast (brunch? early lunch?) on our back deck and I looked down at my plate, and thought, "I'm living the dream! This is what I've always said I wanted."  This was in reaction to the egg and spinach scramble on my plate - eggs from our chickens and spinach that I had picked 7 minutes previously from our garden that is 15 feet away from where I was sitting. And drinking some iced tea from a mason jar leftover from Kyle's party the night before.  And seeing the strand of twinkle lights that were still strung on the railing from the party.  And remembering the 30 or so friends who came to celebrate late into the night. And thanking the Good Lord once again that I have Fridays off this summer. And realizing that we are officially out of salsa as of yesterday, which means that we rationed our homemade salsa nearly perfectly, because these tomatoes should be ready really soon. And hearing the neighbors chat and play in the backyard and getting nostalgic memories of Mexico when I simultaneously get a waft of diesel. And reminding myself (again) that the dream I had of getting a C on my midterm was, in fact, only a dream.  And looking forward to a busy, fun, and maybe even relaxing summer weekend.

Yes, I am definitely living the dream here, people.  So.thankful.

Fondly,
Julie

List of Recent Thoughts and Happenings, aka: “Finding my Big Girl Pants”

Dear List,

1. I.love.lists.

2. It’s been a while. I’d like to think it’s because I’ve been spending time writing good old-fashioned, paper-and-pen letters to people. That’s mostly true. I’m current on birthdays, and am always looking for more recipients, so if you’d like some snail mail, send your address my way…

3. Summer is spectacular. We’re soaking it up here in mpls and loving every second of sunshine. This is evidenced by: some extreme tan lines; increased levels of Vitamin D (I don’t know this for sure, but this is an educated guess); the copious amounts of bug bites on my feet and ankles (while there are probably worse spots to receive a mosquito/horsefly bite, I would argue that the Achilles is the worst appropriate spot on the body to receive one); the miles we’ve been putting on our bikes; the 10.5 pounds of blueberries in our fridge/freezer; the grill cover hasn’t covered the grill since May; the exploding garden (read: the zucchini is taking over again).

4. Babies. So many babies around these parts. Cuteness abounds and it’s hard to handle.

5. Sadly not making it on the annual family vacay to Michigan because of class. But grateful to be taking this class that will allow me to be DONE in December.

6. Still figuring out an internship for the fall. Onto Plan D currently – trying not to be discouraged. Hopeful something will work out. Remembering to wear my big girl pants as my options are quickly dwindling to those that are “outside my comfort zone.”

7. Still processing, reminiscing, reenacting my recent trip to Asia. If I had to pick a favorite memory, I’d say the winding, bumping, nearly motion-sickness-inducing, 8 hour bus ride through the countryside; sitting by two dear friends and soaking in the landscape. I like riding, (not driving so much) and just watching.

8. We’re looking for a house. To buy. Eeek. Kind of overwhelmed by the thought, but really, it’s been a great process so far – steep learning curve, lots of good communication with the boy, and kind people to assist us. Still not sure I’m old enough for this, but trusting this is the right next step (and remembering those big girl pants). Also trying not to make it a big deal (which I absolutely do with most big decisions). I had this word – I think from the Lord – as we sat in our mortgage brokers office, of “It’s okay if it’s easy.” I obviously don’t think this is a life mantra I’ll be applying to all areas of my life (insert scriptural quotations about suffering, perseverance, struggle, etc.), BUT it could be easy. I tend to make things harder than they need to be. Obviously there is wisdom in being prepared and calculating, but I waste too much time and worry contemplating every worst case scenario. When things are going really well, instead of just enjoying it and being thankful, I often am looking around suspiciously waiting for the next crisis or calamity. Maybe this house-buying thing will be simple. Or simpler. Or extremely complicated, stressful, difficult, disappointing, and crisis-ridden.

9. Thinking a lot about “home”. (see #8, obviously). And praying about this. More so than a physical structure of a house (though I’d really like a front porch). Not a lot of coherent thoughts here, except that a.) I like cooking and filling a table with people to eat, b.) I like when people let me in to their “real” lives, at home, c.) I like letting people into my “real” life, at home, d.) I love it when people drop in unannounced (the front porch helps with this), and e.) we have a lot of transient friends and family that we love hosting.

10. I have a business idea. Depending on how life treats me come wintertime, I may just actually work up a real, live business plan and try to launch it. Or maybe not, depending on what my target market financial projection research data tells me.

11. I’m a feminist. You probably already knew that. So did I. But this definition/identity has been evolving in recent months.

12. If I were to write a book, and I’m not going to (a topic for another letter/list/post), it would be about food. And my theology of it. And it’s a good thing I’m not going to write a book, because this is a pretty fad topic right now, and I’d hate to be cliché. I don’t know what the title of the book that I’ll never write would be, but it would most definitely be subtitled, “Why I Believe in Butter.”

13. My husband makes the best bruschetta. He’s a keeper. For a lot of other reasons, too.

So be it,
J