Dear Danny,
I feel I owe you an apology. My heart desires to live at peace with everyone, so I feel it necessary to address the very obvious ill feelings that were (and perhaps still are) between us. However, I do not like to waste time with insincere apologies, so I feel it profitable to share with you a brief explanation as to why exactly my attitude was such this morning.
Here is why I was angry/frusterated/impatient:
1.) It was 5:58a.m.
2.) Our interactions as of late haven't been exactly amiable, therefore my expectations were low and my attitude sour towards you before I even walked out the door.
3.) I was lugging a very heavy sign.
4.) You ignored my (albeit measely) attempts to be cordial.
5.) You (not only) did not help me unstack and arrange 12 very heavy and awkward chairs,
6.) You (also) stood in the exact spot where I would have liked to place one of the chairs, causing my path between the stack-location and the arrangment-around-the-tables-location of said chairs to double in length.
7.) You didn't (and never have) used two of my favorite words: "Please" and "Thanks"
I am not making excuses for being of ill-temper with you, I merely offer an explanation, so that perhaps you can understand my position. That being said, I would welcome any insight or explanation you would care to share in regards to your point of view. I certainly do not presume to know what your perspective is, nor am I in any way able to understand what your life is like on a daily basis. I will make this humble observation if you will allow it. In my opinion, the most painful aspect of homelessness and poverty is the dehumanization (or at least feelings of this) that occur as a result of one's social status (or lack thereof). Being ignored, overlooked, intentionally taken advantage of, not cared for, misjudged, misunderstood, and/or at the mercy of others would seemingly have profound affect on a person, especially if this occurs repeatedly for extended periods of time. I would imagine that being treated as though you are not a person or less than a person, might make you to begin to believe that you are just that.
I think that we humans can strip someone of their humanity and dignity by doing just this; disrespecting, taking advantage of, oppressing, etc. I also think, however, that we can dehumanize someone by doing the opposite; coddling, giving handouts, and having generally low expectations of a person. It is for this reason, that when I engage you in conversation, Danny, I expect a response. I expected you to help me move chairs this morning - or at the very least move yourself and your belongings out of the way - as I would have expected from anyone. It is for this reason that I've actually never addressed you by your name, because you've never shared it with me - I've only learned it from other people. I figure that maybe until you want me to know your name, I'll continue to call you "Sir".
I'll reiterate again that this is my humble explanation for what can probably be chalked up to "waking up (too early) on the wrong side of the bed" this morning. I have no idea what last night was like for you. Just as you are not aware of what life has been for me in recent months.
I am heartfully sorry for being of generally ill-temper with you today and of having a prideful heart. I have thought about writing you a letter before, but I could never come up with much. As far as I ever got on that blog was:
Dear Danny, Every time I see you I think to myself, "child of God, child of God." Love, your sister.
I hope to see you again soon and redeem myself.
Very Sincerely,
Your (Probably) Least Favorite Barista
