Wisconsin

Dear Wisconsin,

I'm going to try very hard to avoid negative stereotypes here, but you're not making it easy. 

I mean, the last three letters in your name do spell SIN.

Does this say anything about your character? (The word SANTA is an anagram for ... you guessed it: SATAN.)  *gasp!*

I digress....

I'm writing to appeal for some reconciliation before I return to you next week.  I'm guessing that my check for $200.50* will be an acceptable peace offering (memo line: "I LOVE WISCONSIN"). 

You see, I think we could be friends.  You're not unlike my current home state.  We're neighbors.  You have beautiful scenery and are  home to some folks I love.  And I hear that property taxes are a steal.  There's really no reason this couldn't work.

Except for your officers of the law.  Now, I was assured in the information pamphlet I received from the Wisconsin Department of Transportation, that your police officers absolutely do not engage in any sort of profiling when making traffic stops, but some of us west of the border find this a little hard to believe.  No no, I'm not talking racial or gender profiling, I'm talkin' license-plate profiling. 

That's right.  I said it.  I think you packercheeseheads take a particular dislike to those of us out of staters.  That's the only explanation I can find for why I received a "following to closely" ticket when I was in a line of 15 cars that were all following at the same distance. 

Hmmph.  I do not appreciated being pre-judged by my vehicle paraphernalia.  Please prove me wrong in future visits.

Love from MN,
Red Ford Focus

* Why the odd dollar amount??  I asked myself this same question and couldn't come up with an answer.  I'm sure here in Minnesota we only give tickets in full dollar amounts in increments of 5.  Take that Wisconsin.