Girl at the Laundromat

Dear Girl at the Laundromat,

I'm of the belief that if something is stuck in someone's teeth, they should know about it sooner than later.  In fact, I would consider it a sign of true friendship if someone (hopefully discreetly) informed me that I had a piece of food in my teeth. 

With that, I feel obligated to politely inform you that you have a fanny pack stuck on your back that I'm sure you would like to discreetly remove.

Please don't misunderstand, I regretfully do see the functionality of these unfortunate accessories, however there are other options: small backpack, pockets, across the shoulder strapped purse, etc.  I too, can understand the specific temptation to don such an item when going to the laundromat ("it frees up my hands", "I always know where my quarters are"), however I assure you the risk is not worth the reward.  Don't think that I don't see that lovely skull and crossbones decal on your fanny pack - I do!  Unfortunately it seems that you have bought into the lie that if it has a cool, slightly edgy design on it, it's ok.  Oh, dear friend, please hear me: fanny packs are NEVER ok.  Acid-washed denim, flourescent pink, skull and crossbones - they're all the same!

I hope that you will heed my fervent warning and I trust that one day you will even be thankful for it.

Most Sincerely,
Fellow Laundry-Doer